I've been awake just over an hour and already failed today. I slept through my alarm and missed yoga.
I have very little to base my life success on these days. Back home, though I wasn't climbing a corporate ladder, curing diseases, or really even doing anything worthwhile. I could happily at the end of the day, lay my head down to rest with a feeling of accomplishment. I had survived another day at work, without killing myself or anyone else. I had held my tongue when it was on fire with injustice, and managed to keep myself employed.
For those of you who never had the unique workplace experience(s) that I have, this may seem a bit drastic. Or for those of you who have, but can't imagine a retail environment that could inflict such an extreme reaction. I could provide several testimonies to the contrary.
The Little Shop of Horrors.
I digress. this isn't a hate piece. it's a help piece, or perhaps more accurately a help me piece.
These days here I have no sense of measure.
I don't mean to disappoint anyone, but, I'm not having the time of my life. I'm not complaining either. to be clear.
I'm just living.
Not having a job is. dreadful. sounds crazy, in lieu of the days where having one seemed to evoke the same kind of feeling, but any purpose is helpful, there are two sides and extremes to everything.
It's just odd.
I'm not a routine kind of girl. I struggle with the notion that there are certain steps to be taken in life. If there are, I've missed a couple. I worry about the future, but can't seem to find my way onto it's path. Until I realize that every step forward is just that.
I chose different names for myself daily, Lazy, Scared, Confused, Depressed, Crazy, Uninspired, Genius.
a modern day version of the seven dwarfs is living inside of me.
I know I could be/should be out everyday exploring all this place has to offer, but without the necessary skip in my step, it's all a little redundant. And I said the same back home everyday but rarely strayed from my home to work route. it just seems like less of a waste when you're home. Because home isn't going anywhere. In my defense, short of some freak nuclear bombing, Vienna isn't going anywhere either. I may be. but I'd like to leave a reason to return.
In just over a weeks time Anthony will be here, well not here, Munich and so will I.
here's the plan, for those interested and my mum as per request.
Sept 30th- Arrive in Munich - Oktoberfest!!
Oct 3th- Arrive in Florence (overnight train from Munich)
Oct 6th - Arrive in Rome (Vatican City, Ruins, ect)
Oct 10th - Arrive in Venice (Gondola rides)
Oct 12th - Fly to London! (change my opinion, see a show)
Oct 14th - Berlin (join a gang, fall in love)
Oct 19th - Bye Bye Anthony :( / Start work in Vienna?
I have to go get ready to meet up with some chick. Nadine, or Nadia, I'm not sure which, she's the one from the sliding doors post.
SHOUT OUTS:
Rachel: Yay!!!! I'm so happy for/ proud of you
Anthony: I can't wait to see your
All members of Team B: 4 life babes 4 life
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